We get such a bad rep, don’t we?
We’re the friends who need to know Friday night’s plans on Tuesday for fear of spending the evening alone.
We’re the friends who overanalyze the three word text message from the person we like, fearing that they don’t feel the same way.
We’re the friends our friends roll their eyes at when we ask, “Are you mad at me?”
We’re the friends who are told, “You’re blowing this out of proportion, as usual.”
We’re the friends who apologize. And apologize. And apologize once again.
But, we’re the friends who simply want to be loved and accepted. And who love and accept in return.
And what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with planning, with thinking (maybe a bit too much), and what’s wrong with worrying about the future?
Well, in moderation, nothing. In fact, I wholeheartedly believe that if you possess these qualities it shows you care. You plan, because you don’t want to be left out, and you want others to be included. You overthink, because you don’t want to get hurt and you don’t want to hurt others. You worry, because you don’t want anything bad to happen to a loved one or yourself.
And, if you’re sitting there thinking that you’ve never worried about the future or you’ve never overthought something, teach us all your ways. I’m begging you. Please. Because, I don’t believe you for a second.
These feelings and actions are normal and they make us human. We don’t know what’s to come for us, and how scary is that?
But, in a sense, it’s exhilarating, right? And it only becomes scary when we’re not living in the moment. When we’re living in our minds and the future, as opposed to what’s right in front of us.
Granted, it’s easier said than done.
Take yesterday’s run for example. I’m in a current situation (I’m not going to give specifics, because that’s none of your business. Kidding. I’m just too embarrassed to say) that should be exciting and fun. And, if I were living in the moment, it would be. But, being an over thinker, I caught myself playing out every possible outcome for this situation. And I’ve noticed I do this a lot, and I believe I do it in order to protect myself. If I can play out someone rejecting me in my head, I can better brace myself when it happens in reality. I know exactly what it will feel like and I know how I will respond, so that I will be the one on top. I’m the one who will come out unscathed.
Fear drives this behavior.
Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Fear of doing something wrong. Fear of loneliness.
No one wants to experience any of those things. But… that’s life. There have been so many times I’ve been too afraid to take a leap of faith and I missed out. I was stuck in my head. Worrying, wondering, overanalyzing every outcome. I forgot to just let myself live. Actually, I didn’t forget. More so, I wouldn’t let myself.
And, when I realized that I’m more fearful than I thought I was, I started looking around. I noticed a lot of people are afraid. Afraid for themselves. Afraid for the ones that they love. And afraid to step outside of their heads and live the life that’s right in front of them. Ever present.
It’s natural to protect ourselves out of fear. And it’s surely natural to worry about the future. But is your fear driving every decision you do or don’t make? Are you not taking risks for fear of feeling pain? For fear of getting hurt?
This year, I’ve decided I’m not going to live in fear anymore. I’m going to live confidently, and I’m going to allow myself to fall and to feel. I’m not going to overprotect my heart. I’m not going to worry about the days ahead. I’m simply going to live and enjoy living.
So, here’s to us. Here’s to all of us who overthink, who worry, and who plan a bit too much, and who are afraid. And here’s to our new beginning. One where we bask in each wonderful day. Where we step outside of the tangled webs in our minds, and gain a clearer perspective on this life we’ve been given. One where we don’t calculate each action out of fear. One where we find our confidence.
Here’s to us.