“I am a healthy daughter of God who doesn’t need to fit into the narrow box of the world.”
I remembered about 45 minutes before my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday that I did, in fact, have a doctor’s appointment.
Rushing around, I slung some makeup on my face, threw on what would be deemed appropriate for work, but also comfortable, and braided my dirty hair before heading out the door.
Then I remembered, “Oh shoot, I’m going to get weighed this morning.”
You see, as someone who is getting a bit older and has thrown unhealthy and destructive eating habits aside, I have put on some weight. I call it my “I am a healthy daughter of God who doesn’t need to fit into the narrow box of the world,” weight. Could also be from too many Christmas cookies. Who knows.
Anyways, my heart leapt with anxiety when I remembered what was to come. I don’t usually weigh myself. It’s not part of my eating disorder recovery. And it doesn’t do much good to my mental health, either.
Plus, my roommate says, “The scale can’t tell the difference between you and a sack of potatoes.”
So, I don’t weigh myself… unless I go to the doctor.
“Maria?” the triage nurse called my name, after a seemingly short time in the waiting room. Guess that’s what happens when you’re late.
I got up, followed her through the door, and stared at the contraption (i.e. the scale) in front of me.
“Go ahead and get on the scale. We’ll take your weight,” she said.
Begrudgingly, I took a deep breathe and stepped on, and was faced with the extra pounds I knew I had gained.
But then something simple and relieving happened. After pushing away a few, “Okay, it’s time to go on a diet” thoughts, I carried on with my doctor’s appointment. I didn’t worry about the number or chastise myself. I just moved on.
You see, that’s the beauty of getting to a place of peace with who you are and what you look like. You keep going, even when you want to give up and go back to old habits. You tune out the world’s standards of beauty, and listen for God’s call in your life.
But it takes diligence. It takes persistence. It takes bravery. It takes finding your beauty in who God made you to be.
I was reading the book of Luke the other night. Specifically, the story where Mary says “Yes” to God’s call to bring Jesus to the world. And just how brave she was to submit her life completely to His will. (Luke 1:26-38)
Can you imagine how frightened she must have been at that moment when the angel Gabriel told her what was going to come?
But the angel eases her worries by saying, “Don’t be afraid Mary; God has been gracious to you.” (Luke 1:30).
“Don’t be afraid, Mary.”
Don’t be afraid, YOU. God is calling YOU to a beautiful life. Do not be afraid of His call.
And we see as the story progresses Mary says, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it happen to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38). She then sings God’s praises in her Song of Praise (also known as the Magnificat) (Luke 1:46-55).
Today, as we continue to pursue God’s love in our lives, let’s look to Mary who didn’t worry about what the world would think of her. Instead she proclaimed a brave YES to God’s call in her life.
Today, let us say YES to OUR calling, to OUR truth, to who God made US to be.
Because, look, you’re worth way more than a sack of potatoes.