Years ago, over here on this blog, I used to share stories of other runners from all walks of life (check them out!). Well, I want to pick that back up again. I think hearing stories of encouragement are exactly what we need right now.
Today, I introduce to you Jenay Franco. She’s a mother of 4 who found peace and relief from anxiety and postpartum depression when she started running. And, friends, she’s amazing. In full transparency, she is one of my running clients. A piece of my running programs are designed to help women achieve goals outside of running. For Jenay, it was her call from the Lord to start a blog and ministry that shares her story of healing and helps other women do the same.
In her story, she details her struggle with postpartum depression, how she went from a “no way” attitude towards running to a “alright, what have I got to lose” to a “I LOVE this,” and how she has found peace in Christ and running.
She’s on fire for the Lord, for running, and for bettering her life with each breath she takes. She surely inspires me to do the same!
So, without further adieu, here is Jenay’s story. I hope you walk away feeling inspired and loved. And be sure to follow her on social media!
My chest was tight, my heart was pounding, and my patience was GONE. From the moment I woke up that morning, I felt short on everything: patience, peace, and energy. It was another Coronavirus quarantine day filled with the constant needs of my four children. All of this family time was beautiful, but wearing on my overstimulated spirit. It was late afternoon and my husband had just gotten home from work. Without much explanation, I handed him the baby and laced up my running shoes. “Freedom,” I thought. The feeling of my feet hitting the pavement and the rhythm of the music was just what I needed.
Have you ever caught yourself saying, I could never do that? Y’all know what I’m talking about. Those activities that sound horrible and are for those “really hardcore” people. Yup. That’s how I felt about running. In fact, if I hadn’t gotten so desperate for something, anything, that could help me improve my physical and mental health after my second child was born, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have given it a chance.
Thankfully, God is so good that he knew my running journey would be exactly what I needed – not only to make it through that one really difficult season in life, but the many different seasons I’ve had since then. It’s the thing that brings it all together for me; it challenges me mentally, physically, and even spiritually as I contemplate the way the discipline needed for running well is deeply connected to living an authentic and holy life.
MY STORY
My husband and I are both Louisiana natives who met and fell in love in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. After finishing college and getting married, we lived in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and Cleveland, Ohio as he pursued his dream of becoming a physician. The years spent in Cleveland were full of challenges (being a plane ride away from our families and having to shovel snow), but it was our time there that shaped much of who I am today.
The seemingly endless winters, his long residency hours, and two babies in two years brought me to a desperate and lonely place. Mentally, I was in shambles. I was exhausted from depression, anxiety, and the demands of tending to young babies without much of a support system. I was so focused on surviving; my own physical and mental health had taken the lowest place on the priority list. Spiritually, well, gone were the days of what felt like a deep and thriving relationship with Christ. How could I pray when I constantly doubted God’s goodness? I was so focused on getting back to the fire I felt in my single years that I didn’t see a way forward as a wife and mom. How could I possibly do it all? It was all so segmented in my head and I was overwhelmed trying to figure out how to put it all together, so I just didn’t try.
POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
I still vividly remember sitting in our living room, holding my 6-month-old baby while my 2 year old slept, and sobbing, feeling utterly alone. I felt angry, and I hated my inability to control myself. I found very little joy in motherhood and saw no way out of this. Thankfully, in my desperation, I called a dear friend who had been through something similar, and she helped me realize I wasn’t alone. I finally had the courage to get help.
Soon after I had this breakdown in February 2014, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety, began medication (that I am still on to this day), and had a counselor guide me to make necessary changes in my life. One of those changes was prioritizing taking care of myself. Chris and I made room in the budget and enlisted the help of neighbors and friends, because weekly time away from the kids was not an extravagance, it was a necessity. This time gave me the space to be me again.
SEARCHING
I had lost myself so completely in the early years of motherhood that I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore. The time I carved out for myself every week allowed me to dream and explore what God wanted to do in my life. I found myself exhausted every day and unable to keep up with my two babies. I knew the first step was to begin taking my health seriously.
A friend introduced me to the book and program, Ballet Beautiful, by Mary Helen Bowers. I always secretly wanted to be a ballet dancer, so I thought this would be a perfect start to exercising again. As I devoured her book during my coveted coffee shop alone time, I found myself being filled with hope. It was much more than a how-to exercise book. She challenged me to shift my mindset to a positive one, believing I could accomplish my goals. I had to evaluate how I felt about my body and my life.
Most importantly, I had to decide why I wanted to change. For me, it was leaving a legacy for my children. I wanted my girls to see me be strong and resilient and full of energy for a life I loved. For the first time in a long time, I believed I could do it.
RUNNING
This positive mindset began to take root. I set my mind to eating healthier and began to lose some weight and feel better. After a few months, Chris and I were having a conversation about all of our dreams and the life we wanted to build together over the next few years. My health journey was a part of that conversation and he encouraged me to give running a try.
Now, if you had asked me when I married my cross country trained, triathlon loving, very athletic husband if I ever wanted to run with him, I’d have answered a resounding “NO WAY.” I thought running sounded incredibly boring and an absolutely ridiculous thing to do. But here, deep in the process of changing my mindset, I knew it was worth a try.
Slowly, but steadily, I watched myself progress. I started my running journey with an app called Couch to 5k that helped me go from nothing to being able to run three miles straight. It felt ridiculous at first, but as I went from three minutes, to five minutes, to twenty minutes of running, I was in awe of what I was capable of. Every time I ran farther than the day before, I believed in myself that much more. Soon, I was ready to find a race and sign up. It felt odd, because at that point I still hadn’t run three consecutive miles, so I was committing with hope in the future I was creating for myself.
I still have a vivid memory of one crisp, late summer evening leading up to that race. My husband pushed our two kids in the double jogging stroller so I could focus on running three miles for the first time. Just typing this now brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face. I was struggling and kept looking at my phone wondering how much further I had to go. I wanted to stop so badly, my legs were sore and my breathing ragged. Though my mind said I was done, I knew my body had more to give, so I pushed through. I cannot begin to explain my exuberance when I saw that I had done it! I was ready to go!
RACING
On September 20th, 2014 I ran my first 5k. The air was extra cool that morning, and Chris was able to bring our two girls to watch me race. When the shot went off to start, I was filled with adrenaline. I went out a little faster than intended, but pulled back a little once I got to the first mile sign and realized how far I had come! I took it all in. I watched the people around me and listened to the sound of my feet on the pavement. I thought about my form and keeping a steady pace. I thanked God for all the things He had done in my life through this challenging sport. As I neared the end, I caught sight of my husband and girls.
I was filled with gratitude and joy. I was a new person. I was changing my life, and we were all better for it.
Crossing that finish line ignited a fire in me. A couple of months later, I ran a 5-mile Turkey Trot (with my husband, I might add!). I was in LOVE. Running connected everything for me. It drastically improved my physical health as I began taking care of my body in new ways. My mental health had also greatly improved; as I felt renewed having an outlet for stress doing something I loved. Spiritually, I grew in ways I never could have imagined before.
In January 2015, I ran my one and only (so far) half marathon. I was motivated to sign up for the race after I stumbled upon a training guide by Corinne Baur, Running By the Book. In the introduction, she stated that she began running “with three small children at home.” I had small children too, and no longer believed that this would hold me back from my dreams, but instead give me more reasons to achieve them! Her program combined new runners’ education on form and mental challenges with Scriptures to meditate on each week as you approached your race date. I began to see how my own spiritual life was much like running a race (or even a training run).
LIFE LESSONS
I had to learn to be more self-controlled in all areas of my life if I wanted to live my vocation out to the fullest. The habits and discipline I used to actually lace up my shoes and get out there when I didn’t want to, push through a mental wall during a run, or recognize when my body just needed rest, applied to my home and spiritual life too. I needed to show up in prayer when I didn’t feel like it, live in the Scriptures that spoke the truth I needed to hear, and be as present to my husband and kids as I was focused during my runs.
So that’s my story, the beginning of it anyway. As with any good story, it’s always in progress. These are lessons I continue to learn every day of my life. I hope you have found inspiration in these words. I hope you have heard that you are worth fighting for, and that your dreams are worth dreaming and sharing with the world. Most of all, if you find yourself deep in the throes of depression or anxiety, I pray you will know you are not alone. You have a community around you who will walk (and maybe even run!) with you along the way!
Know a mama who could use this message? Please share the love!
Interested in more of my story? You can find me at www.jenayfranco.com or on Instagram @jenayfranco
