Back in the day, blogging used to be this magnificent world where people wrote about their every day (and sometimes boring) lives. I loved getting updates on how my favorite bloggers were doing, what snacks they were making for their kids, and play by plays of their family vacations. The online world has changed, and now blogging is much, much different. Yes, we still talk about our lives, but there’s an edge to it – to make money and to influence. Not bad things. But I miss the good ol’ days where we’d talk about relationships and the holidays as if you all were our bff’s sitting across the table with a steaming cup of coffee.
So, I’m going to do that today. Mainly, because I have other, more pressing things to do, and we all know how alluring procrastination is in busy times. But also, because blogging like we used to blog, is so much dang fun.
Here’s an update on my life. My real life. I don’t know if anyone will read it… or care. But it brings me joy, and I’m in the mood to spark some joy in my day.
1. An Update On My Anti-Depressant
A while ago, I wrote about starting an anti-depressant. It took a lot for me to do it – take the medicine and then share my experience with you – but I’m so very happy I did. I fought taking medicine for a long time, thinking that I could surely cure my lifelong anxiety and depression holistically. I tried just about everything in the book. And it wasn’t until my new therapist said, “It’s time,” that I took her advice and booked an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Why Yes, I Am On An Anti-Depressant
And I’m so glad I did. Since I started taking it about 6 months ago, I’ve felt much less anxiety, little to no depression, and the edge has been taken off. I feel like I can see in color again. I’m sleeping more soundly, and experiencing so much more peace.
No. I’m not perfect. Trust me. I still experience anxiety or anxious moments/panic – just ask my boyfriend who usually has to help me diagnose where the thoughts are coming from. But they aren’t overwhelming like they used to be, and I’m learning how to better work through the rough patches.
I think a lot of the anxiety I felt leading up to taking the medicine was sparked from training for my first marathon. Which I wrote about here. It was a long and arduous process, but again, I’m so glad I did it. And now that I know what to expect, I’m excited to start training for another.
2. What it's like to work full time, run a side biz, and manage your mental health
I still work full time, managing PR and social media for a tech company here in Charlotte. I love the work I do and the people I work with. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed giving my all to my job and giving my all to RunningMyselfTogether.
Plus, have I mentioned I have anxiety?
I don’t think we talk about this enough, though. There are so many people out there working full time and working on amazing side projects. It’s fulfilling, but it’s tough. Especially when the side project fills your heart with so much happiness.
And because of this, I have to strategically plan my days so that I can get done what I need to get done, and still take care of my mental health, foster relationships, and clean my apartment… which, if I’m being honest, is usually put on the back burner.
But I’ve also had to learn how to say no and how to prioritize. My friend Joey, who is a Boundaries Coach, is so good at this. Of course, she learned it the hard way by not having enough boundaries. Now, she teaches others how to set up boundaries in their lives.
She doesn’t give out her phone number to her clients, she has dedicated office hours, and she communicates on her time. And the beautiful thing? She is the kindest, most loving and helpful person I have ever met. Just in her simply being her, I’ve learned so much about the value and power of the word, “No,” and how to set up loving boundaries so that I can get the work done that I need to get done, but also spend time with people I love and relax.
So, what have I learned?
I’ve learned that I have to take scheduled breaks. Yes, I mean, I build in days where I do not do any work (usually Saturdays). I spend quiet time alone in church at least once a week, so that I can hear God through the stillness. I do not respond to text messages after a certain time at night (so, sorry if I text you back at 5:45 am), and I have turned off social media notifications. I say, “No,” to projects unless I know I can commit the time to them. And I strategically plan my goals, so that I’m not trying to achieve more the 2 (or 3) goals at one time.
When I don’t do these things, my anxiety gets heightened, and I find it hard to focus on the task at hand.
3. How I feel about the Instagram algorithm
I don’t know if you noticed, but Instagram went down a few weeks ago. If you didn’t notice, kudos to you, and how do I be more like you?
For me, I noticed right away, and truthfully, I enjoyed the time apart from the app. But ever since it’s come back up, I’ve noticed my RunningMyselfTogether Instagram engagement has been down.
Like, way down.
My posts are reaching a 1/3 of the people they used to reach. I’m getting a 1/3 of the likes and the comments that I used to. And I’ve been pretty upset about it, honestly. Not because I need the validation, but because I’ve realized I absolutely LOVE this RunningMyselfTogether community. I love the conversations, the messages, the cheering each other on. I love the honesty and the realness. I love it all. And right now, I feel like our community has been shrunken by an app that I have no control over.
So, it’s been a good awakening moment for me.
Instagram isn’t the only place this community should live. So, I’ve been working on some other ways to keep our community alive – the website, mailing list (which you can sign up below this post), Facebook groups, etc.
Because, I miss y’all. I really, truly do.
4. Discerning marriage in a Catholic/Protestant relationship
I don’t talk about my relationship with my boyfriend that often on here. Yes, you see glimpses of him on my Instagram stories, and sometimes in the feed, but if there is one thing that I keep to myself, it’s my relationship. Fostering and developing my relationship with David is so very important to me, and it’s not something that needs to be spewed about everywhere. (I’ve read blogs like that before, and it’s just not my cup of tea.)
But we are at an important place in our lives. We’ve been discerning marriage, which has been beautiful and hard. I’m, again, not going to go into the details, but I am Catholic and David is Presbyterian. So, as you can imagine, there have been lots of conversations on faith.
Maybe I’ll share our story someday, but today is not that day. However, I did say that this is a “Real Life” update, so the reason I’m mentioning it here is because I’ve seen myself change drastically and beautifully during this time. I’m learning what sacrificial love is and what the sacrament of marriage truly entails. I’ve seen how I’ve grown as a woman of Christ in our relationship, and have seen God’s grace poured into our relationship.
So, yeah, long story short, I’ve been spending a lot of time with him.
5. My pride and joy - The Imperishable Crown
Finally… FINALLY, I can share this with you. we have been hard at work on The Imperishable Crown. Oh, wait. You don’t know what that is, do you? Soon, we are coming out with a workout journal that touches on mind, body, and soul. I am so excited… SO EXCITED for it to go live. And I’ve been spending a lot of time on it.
Here’s what the cover looks like. But friends, this is all you get to see for the time being. Stay tuned, because more is coming!
And that’s it, folks. There are more details, like the beautiful weddings I’m in this year, and how wonderful it is to watch your best friends walk down the aisle. And the time I’ve spent with family. And the time I’ve spent with my friends.
My life isn’t glamorous or spectacular. It’s insanely normal. And probably, some would call, boring. But I love it – despite the highs and lows of my mental health.
Thank you for reading. I’m praying for you.
joey says
Thanks for making me cry in public. Love you, friend. Love catching up on your life, your honesty and vulnerability.
Karla says
Hi, there. Just wanted to say that I married a Catholic while being a Protestant. Fast forward five years and we have two beautiful children AND we are ALL Catholic! Just sayin’! 🙂 All joking aside, though, I can relate to what you must be feeling, thinking and praying over. I was sure I would NEVER convert but, prayed a whole lot and was open to God’s leading and His plan for the future of my relationship with my then boyfriend. God changed my heart, opened my eyes to the truth and here I am. Admittedly, still very young in the faith but, super excited about coming home. You could say I married later in life than my peers so, learning about the faith at a molasses pace seems about right for my style. Thanks for sharing! I will keep you in my prayers.
Maria Abbe says
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your encouragement. It means more than you know! Keeping you in my prayers!