Hi there! Back in May of 2019, I wrote a letter for The Catholic Woman on no longer fearing anxiety. I’ve cut a snippet of the piece and pasted it below. You can head on over to their site to read the whole thing. I’ve also shared a few books (via Amazon Affiliate links, which means I get a little kick back) that have helped me in times of anxiety, and I think they could help you too!
My dear Sisters,
It was a balmy summer day in upstate New York. I was preparing to head back for my senior year of college in the coming months, but was filled with unease, because it had been a rough summer. Over the weeks, I had bounced between fits of extreme sadness, unable to stop crying, to fits of extreme anxiety, unable to calm my mind down and sit still.
Facebook was just becoming more prevalent in our lives during this time, and admittedly, I was feeling overwhelmed with how wonderful everyone’s lives looked as I tried to face my own. My life didn’t look like the pictures popping up on my feed – summer dayAs filled with smiles and bathing suits and friends. No, mine looked like crying into my mother’s arms, as I tried to explain the mess in my mind to no avail.
As I was scrolling, I felt the panic beginning to rise. I’d experienced panic attacks for the first time in the weeks prior, which was new territory for me. Before, my anxiety would show up in my eating disorder, but for the most part, those days were over. But now, I’d find myself losing my breath as my mind swirled and I’d panic, asking myself, “What was going on? Why am I feeling like this?”
This particular day was different. A picture popped up on my feed of a girl who, truth me told, I was jealous of. She was beautiful, in the most genuine and authentic way, and she was happy. Well, from what I could tell. And I struggled with that. I struggled with her life looking so pristine and perfect, and mine feeling like a crumbling mess. Seeing her on my feed, someone who I would otherwise not see regularly, sparked feelings of inadequacy within me. I let the thoughts swirl and swirl, knowing that I was letting them consume me, and next I knew, I was on the ground unable to stop the panic attack. Unsure of what to do or how to calm me down, my mother called my brother, a firefighter at the time, and next thing I knew, I was surrounded by four firemen.
My Favorite Books When Feeling Anxious
As I mentioned above, here are a few of my favorite books. They’ve helped me in various stages of life as I’ve experienced anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. Also, they’re Amazon Affiliate links, which means I get a kick back. That kick back helps keep this ministry afloat… so, thank you!
Didache Bible
This is my ALL TIME favorite Bible, as it includes commentary from the Catholic Catechism. Reading the Bible (daily!) has helped bring peace into my life.
Searching For and Maintaining Peace, by Father Jacques Phillippe
This is a quick, easy read that is jam packed with SO MUCH goodness. I have picked this book up many times and have been comforted, as I read the words.
Loved As I Am, by Sr. Miriam James Heidland
This book is a beautiful testimony filled with hope and joy. You’ll walk away from reading this with your spirit renewed and a newfound sense of peace. I absolutely loved it.
Women, Food, and God, by Geneen Roth
If you struggle with food addiction in any sort of way, this is a fantastic resource. It helped me tremendously when I was going through my eating disorder. This is not a specifically Christian book for those who are concerned with that.
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Much love,
Maria
